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Whether it had been the alcohol, the overdose or both, I was scared to death, and I once again ran to the bathroom. I knew at that moment I was going to die one way or the other. I wanted to go to the hospital, but nobody wanted to take me because no one wanted to take the blame for my possible death or whatever might have happened.

All I wanted to do was go home, and wished I had never taken the pill. The thought of me dying was clearly in my head, and all I wanted was to at least be home, even if I had to die this way It was the scariest thing in my life. I knew if I died then and there, my mom wouldn't have known what had happened.

I didn't know these guys well enough to know what they would do with me. If I would have died they honestly could have thrown me in a bag and left me anywhere, just for their own sake of not getting in trouble. Another thing I stress on anyone, no matter how old you are. Luckily, I am alive, but I'm left with the days, months, and years after the trauma. I'm scared to get a cat scan All I know is that I've read everyone's comments about after effects. I've been experiencing everything, you name it. Depression, anxiety, stress, re-occurring nightmares of the night, and bad headaches were a few things that affected me after I took ecstasy.

I almost died and I even feel mentally there's something very different about me. I'm scared to know what will happen down the road from now, or how much damage I really caused. It only took one night, a few pills, and drinking alcohol. This drug is very fatal, and I'm so thankful I'm alive. I can't describe how hard it is coping with these nightmares all the time. I wake up in a sweat just thanking God, and being so thankful it's just another nightmare.

I pray in time the nightmares will fade away. Be happy with life as it is, thankful to be alive; there are other ways to enjoy life You'll only cut your life short and or kill yourself. In your life you are only let so much seritonin in your body, which gives you the "happy drive" You can't gain it back, once it is gone, it's gone. Plain and simple, that's what leads to the depression, and makes life seems so dull. Don't let your friends or anyone you know ruin there life! God bless!!! However, for some reason, my life took a turn for the worst and I began looking down on myself and making decisions I'd never make ordinarily.

That's when drugs became my friend. I did Exctasy because it made me feel better than I knew anyone else could. I felt warm and happy, something that hadn't happend in a long time. Perhaps my bad experience with it was the best thing that could happen to me. I had a bad trip and experienced horrible nightmares. I couldn't eat or sleep. In fact, I was afraid to sleep, knowing what was lurking in my dreams.

I felt horrible for days and began to think that my life was never the same.

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I definitely took a reality check on myself and realized that life wasn't worth wasting away. I haven't touched X since then, and although that "urge" that will always be there sometimes fills up my insides, I remind myself how horrible I felt. It became a weekly thing. Before that I'd never tried Ecstacy. By my second rave my friends were already encouraging me to try a pill and saying that I'll love it and I'll be fine. I liked it, I liked being on it. I took someone home that night and we ended up arguing because I had led them on while I was experiencing the heightened sexual emotions of the pill.

Since then I've had relationship problems. It was over a month until I realized that I'd not gone a period of seven days without taking a pill. And each time I dropped, the next days "come down" was more depressing. It's like you need more of it just to keep you happy. Just to keep the serotonin levels correct that the drug messes up long-term in the first place.

My grades dropped quick during the end of the year and I lost my job because I called in sick too often, because I was taking E too often. The more you take it the more you start to see nothing in your future. I was losing myself quick and could hardly remember the little things I use to do that made me happy and made me feel comfortable to be me.

I was nothing but a drug-addict. I was addicted to Ecstacy. I have now only been sober for two weeks but this accomplishment only cheers me on for longer. I know that I am an intelligent person who let himself down when I took drugs. This isn't something I learned in rehab, this I something I taught and went through myself when I decided I was no longer happy with myself and I wanted to change it. It is not at all to brag, but I am better than that, I've always known I am an intelligent person with a lot of insight and potential and the proof is that I saved myself, and I did it a lot quicker than most people.

I know myself and who I am now better than I ever have and I love myself too much to lose myself again. Because the feeling that you no longer recognize the face in the mirror with bags under his eyes, pale face, and messy hair, is the most hurtful pain I have never imagined. I hope that I have helped some of you readers in educating you and saving you from my experiences.

Stay educated and informed and don't buy in or sell out easy. May peace, love, unity reign. I saw your episode on exstasy and club drugs. I thought it was pretty interesting and pretty scary. I've had a substance abuse problem that started my freshman year in high school. I went through severe depression, I lost a lot of my friends, and I made friends with new people who were basically just people who were interested in getting high.

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I became promiscuous, and I had completely lost touch with reality. The show you put on was really educational but I think that if we're ever going to help kids understand to stop doing drugs we have to start in middle school, get graphic, have kids come in and talk to them. Basically, I think that if I was more educated on the dangers of exstasy and other drugs when I got into high school I might have made different decisions.

Once you become addicted it's real hard to go back. It was only just recently that I realized how much I needed to stop it! If you're intereseted in my thoughts then by all means read on, you may learn something! I was about 15 when I dumped my first pill, my best friend at the time and I had been interested in the drug for quite some time as we were just getting sick of the pot we were constantly smoking. We needed alternatives! So together we decided X was the way to go! It was easily accessible as at this point we had begun to hang around some people that were a lot older and more experienced than us!

Before we did this though, I began reading everything I could about it! I looked up sites that basically said "If you're gonna do it then do it this way. After being informed of what can happen, we entered a party and half an hour later dumped our first pill. During that first 20 minutes I was so scared about the repercussions of what could happen, then it kicked in.

I won't lie Still, it is because of this experience that the next 4 years of my life would be completely different. Me and my friend would go hard for a few months, then settle down, then go hard for the next 2 years. Then she decided she was over it, it was just getting too much! I however pushed through and kept going! Last year would have had to have been the biggest blur of my life. I was enrolled in Uni but never went, instead I was partying about 5 nights a week, I found a new bunch of friends with a need to take the drug so in those 5 nights people would literally throw pills into my mouth.

I've seen many a people tweak, flip out, vomit, be so smashed that they didnt even know who they were! I ended up at people's houses that I didn't even know or maybe had met on the night for recoveries. The friends that I did have were distant and I hardly ever saw them. These days they remind me that when they did see me it was difficult holding a conversation with me coz I'd still be smashed or completely scattered. One day at the end of last year, I finally just snapped out of it and decided to get my ass into gear. The last time I took a pill that year would have been New Year's and since then only twice I have only tried one other drug and that is pot and the first time I did that, I was scared out of my mind.

The first time being offered to take a bean, I didn't think twice about it, I just took it and I loved it. Since that first time about two months ago, I've done it three other times. I can say that only one of my experiences was bad. I freaked out and was sweating and shaking so much it scared me. I couldn't be around anyone and sat in my friend's car for what seemed like 20 minutes and turned out to be two hours.

I am not trying to say that it is a good thing to do because I have been researching it and have found out a lot about it, but I will say I am going to think twice about the next time I am offered E. The first time I did it was the very begginning of my junior year, right after my 16th birthday. My best friend had tried it and she told me I'd absolutely love it, and she was right, I did. The feeling I got all throughout my body was unlike anything else, I can't even explain it.

It just feels like you're floating, without a care in the world. I felt awesome. However, after about an hour or so of "rollin", I started drifting in and out of what seemed like sleep, but in reality only lasted a minute or two. I started mumbling things out of nowhere, things that didn't even make any sense. Although I've never experienced any seriously dangerous effects, I have since quit using X and I've been clean for about 4 months now.

I plan to stay that way to so that I can savor what I have left of my brain. I encourage everyone out there to do the same. It was a wonderful feeling but I woke up the next morning feeling sick. I have taken "E" twice since I tried it for the first time. It has screwed my life up and I regret it. I now suffer with depression. To anyone who wants to take "E", I am not saying don't take it, but nor am I saying go out, take it, it's gonna make you feel good.

For those who want to take this drug, do some rearching on this drug before you do it. A week after the first time, I was admitted to the hospital for severe anxiety and panic attacks. I thought I was going to die. That was followed by depression and cloudy thinking, I was a mess. I felt really strange for about four months, and then the feelings started to subside.

My life was finally on track and it felt great. However, one night at a bar someone offered me a pill. I felt fine, so I agreed. I had an awesome time and thought that I would feel okay the next day I couldn't have been more wrong.

When I was going to sleep that night I started babbling to myself, making absolutely no sense and falling in and out of what I thought was sleep. The next day I was afraid to talk and just felt really strange. Two weeks later, I was admitted to an outpatient program in a mental heatlh facility. To this day, I still suffer from anxiety and depression. It all started on Homecoming night. My best friend and I got offered and I really didn't want to do it, being an athlete and all.

But of course being me, always wanting to try something new, I did it. I absolutely loved it! The feeling I got, and just how open I could be. It was great. I would start doing it almost every weekend, or whenever I could get my hands on it. I really didn't think anything could happen to me with it, I'd seen smart people take it, so I thought hey That night was the worst. I couldn't breathe at all It took everything to try and breathe.

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  • My eyes wouldn't stay open and I would just fall out every once in awhile and wouldn't even know. It was the scariest night of my life, I thought I was going to die. Luckily, my friend was a medic and helped me through. But I must tell you, some of that stuff can do some crazy shit. It doesn't matter if nothing's happened to you before, 'cause it could happen. Just watch out and be careful.

    One of my closest friends has been doing it for a long time now, and all I hear about every time we talk is how much he loves that drug. I have came really close to doing X before. My friend was gonna buy it for me, he even had my money in his pocket. He was gonna buy it for me the next day. That night I talked to someone that is like a brother to me. He rolls a lot and he knows how addictive it is. He literally begged me not to do it. Before I got off of the phone with him he had me crying.

    I was really scared because of some of the stories that he told me about X. He didn't want me to get addicted to the stuff like he is. So the next day I called my friend and told him to give me my money back because I didn't want to do it any more. I was really proud of myself for a while.

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    But then that same friend of mine that talked so highly about X before has almost got me talked into it again. When I think about it I feel really dumb because now I know the "bad" side of the drug. I had met some people at the club, and we all became pretty good friends-- one of them even became my boyfriend. In the begining I would only do one. Then the more I did it, which was every weekend, I would probably take at least three or four in one night. I had to go to the hospital.

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    I was unconcious for a long time, they had to put me on life support, very scary stuff!! So now I haven't touched any of that stuff for more than a year, and never will again. When people come up to me in the clubs and ask random people if they have any ectasy or liquid G, it just makes me so mad because they have no idea what they are getting themselves into.

    It's really sad.

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    I was like 13 or 14, so that was like 4 years ago. I started getting into drugs at a very young age. I was fed a pill by a friend and ate them on and off for about 2 years. Then I started going to "raves" and met kids that told me about the dangers of the drug, and then I saw what kids looked like on the drug and that was the end of my druggie days.

    How anybody could look at those pathetic kids all e-tarded out and think it's cool is beyond me. I'd really like to see people looking at the other things in the "rave" scene because of these new kids, we're being shut down. This scene has been here longer than I've been alive and our generation destroys it. I never thought that I would be addicted to "E". I never thought I would end up how I am today I took E so many times I can't even count.

    I emptied out my bank account and started getting it for free. I did everything for it. I don't know why I did it, but I wish I had a reason. My parents never knew and they still don't. This went on for a year until I realized that something was wrong with me. I lost so much weight and got major kidney problems. I was in the hospital for days. I stopped taking E after my friend was diagnosed with bipolar disease, or manic depression.

    Drugs may take away the pain you feel inside, but they leave devastation in your body that will haunt you for life. I now am left with a chemical imbalance and anxiety disorders. Ecstasy ruined my life. Don't think it won't hurt you, because that is what I thought. Its the worst feeling ever. Well, my friends all decided to go sit in the car and listen to music. My not so much of a friend was in the driver's seat playing music PHAT techno beats.

    I fucked my high up thats for sure And my friend was in that car for like 1 hour haha. Joined Dec 17, Messages Location Florida. No it wasn't from tears of joy. My friend started to open up about something that happened to him recently that sucked ass and he started to full out cry then we all started to talk about our problems and times that sucked ass for us and we all were crying. JasonSmith Bluelighter. I've never cried during a roll and would hate to. I could only imagine how badly it would end up. But if one person starts crying then it'll set off a whole chain-of-crying-people.

    Everyone gets eachothers's vibes throughout the night. Ecstasy increases your emotions exponentially. Hearing someone else's sad story would most likely make you extra sad, then you'd think of some tragedy to share or just think about to yourself after that. If everyone's rolling super hard and dancing away, having a blast, no ones going to be thinking about tragedies or other sad shit that's been going on.

    IMO at least. Wierd "i love you mans" and crazy emotional moments always seemed to fuck my high up. Like i would realize some dude i barely knew just told me he loved me, that i was cool as fuck and tell me why. Always always always fucked my roll up. M Brace Bluelighter. Joined May 7, Messages Joined Nov 22, Messages Location Canada.

    ColtDan Bluelighter. Joined Jul 27, Messages 24, Woodrowbt said:. ColtDan said:. Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, Joined Jun 21, Messages 8, Location Inside of a heart-shaped box. I always cry from X on the day after taking it.

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    Watching a movie that normally would have me laughing at how cheesy it is has me balling like a baby the day after a good session. Stoner Witch Bluelighter. Joined Oct 24, Messages Yes I have. Joined Nov 14, Messages Joined Jul 26, Messages 11, Location Somewhere over the rainbow. I have never cried on mdma but I have been around someone who has. He has an incredibly fucked up life some self induced and some being from a broken type of family and we started talking about his son a little bit and that caused him to cry.

    There are so people who are just able to wear their emotions on their sleeves a bit more when they are taking mdma and some people are able to keep their emotions safely hidden away. Mdma doesn't force anything in a person, the person always allows the experience.